Share Your Words of Remembrance

Dear Everyone,

We are posting words of remembrance shared at the funeral today and others anyone would like to add. If you would like to share your memories of Tony on this blog, please send them to me:

jrobideau@gmail.com

-- and any pictures you'd like to accompany your words.

A beautiful memorial today. Thanks to all who made it and all who could not.

Aloha.

Words of Remembrance: From Susan

Dear Uncle,

I write this in celebration of your life. You have been a part of my whole life. I loved the stories

you would tell me on how you and my mom would take me to the doctor when I was an infant

on the street car, that was before the bus when not everyone had cars. Then you went away

in the Navy to serve our Country. I know that you spent a lot of time in Japan because

somewhere in my attic I still have the china tea set you sent me, also in my hope chest is

a pair of silk pajamas from Japan.

I remember the time you lived in Southern California and our families would visit often. I

remember the day you and Auntie Marge came to tell us that you were moving to Hawaii, a far

and exotic place. Once you moved to Hawaii we didn’t see you much because you were afraid

to fly and only came back to the mainland by ship. When I graduated from high school you sent

me the most beautiful necklace and bracelet, I still have it today and wear it with love.

As soon as I could I came to visit you in Hawaii. I was overcome by the Aloha Spirit. Auntie

Marge taught us about Hawaiian culture and traditions and shared the island way like no other.

When I got married you were still afraid to fly and couldn’t attend my wedding. So I came to

you on my honeymoon so you could meet the wonderful man I intended to spend my life with.

You welcomed Richard with open arms and sometimes I would be jealous because you two hit

it off so well. I have many good memories of our many trips to Hawaii, my children even have

“Made in Hawaii” stamped on their okoles.

You were here for me when my father passed away and became my surrogate dad. Most

important you stepped in and became a grandfather to my two boys. Finally, you decided to

take a chance and fly and it wasn’t so bad, of course you only flew first class. For the last

twenty years we didn’t make many visits to Hawaii because you were always on our

doorstep. I think one year you were here 4 times, most years we could expect at least one or

two visits. You were here for the important occasions: Ryan’s birth – your first “great

nephew”, Chris and Andy’s going away parties as they both went off to culinary school. Chris

and Kristy’s wedding, Ethan’s birth your second great nephew and Andy and Nicole’s wedding.

You gave us the gift of the love for food. I loved the times I would come home from work and

you and the boys had prepared dinner – from adobo to pizza and everything in-between. You

taught me the fine art of the perfect eggplant parmesan – still my favorite dish – and how to

make the best meatballs.

I loved your Sunday phone calls – sometimes long with lots to say and other times just checking

in to see if everything was okay. Sometimes you would just talk to Richard.

Thank you for hanging in there so I could have one last visit with you in September, I know that

you didn’t say much but I could see in your eyes how happy you were and how you enjoyed all

of us being together.

I will always love you, ALOHA, dear uncle

Susan

Words of Remembrance: From Napa

Gps was not a blood relative of mine. But no one would ever know that I wasn’t one of his own by the way he treated me.

My own grandfather passed when I was still young, but I never felt like I lacked one. I was Jen’s best friend growing up and because I lived just 2 doors away I was a fixture in the house. And even with Jen out of the house the visits didn’t end. I went to have sandwiches with Gps and Tai, discussing what Sami was up to on Days of Our Lives with the oldies station playing in the background.

And when I moved to New York, I’d walk through Grand Central Station and think about being in the very same place where Gps caught the train every week, so many years before, to meet Marie, the girl he’d later marry. Every once in while I’d get a friendly call from home, and I knew Gps hadn’t forgotten about me. I won’t be forgetting him either.

Words of Remembrance: From Jenny

I’d like to begin by doing something I NEVER do: butchering a line of one of my greatest heroes to suit an occasion. Forgive me, Mr. Shakespeare:

“So long as we can eat and mouths can feed, so long live we and we give life to thee”

That was for you Grandpa. And so is this:

Having the great fortune of growing up in Grandpa's house, I had the greater gastronomical fortune of growing up FED in Grandpa's house.
Spaghetti and meatballs, Capicola, ricotta, Mortadella, mozzarella, Prosciutto, and provalone; osso bucco, gnocchi, ravioli, lasagne, Italian sausage, and pepperoni pizza --homemade of course. The meat and cheese list is long.
Yes, I think I was the only girl in elementary who brought salami sandwiches for home-lunch.

Those of you who are here cannot not know that Grandpa--also known as “Gps,” Daddy, Papa T, Tony Di, Mr. D, Anthony George DiBuongrazio-- was indeed . . . Italian. On one of fellow Paesano, Tony Manzo's recent visits with Grandpa, they volleyed around the usual boisterous broken-Italian --between gentlemanly mouthfuls of aged Parmesan from the Bronx. And Mr. Manzo urged me to start working Chianti back into his good friend’s daily diet. Per resistenza! For strength! Indeed, Grandpa was not just a father and grandfather, but a real life Godfather and Goodfella. You know this, because you all have been fed by him. To be fed by him is to have been loved by him.

So, can you imagine the dysfunction I caused when I gave up eating meat?

"What kind of ______ Italian are you?"
(This “tame” impersonation has been censored for obvious reasons. Besides, we all know how to fill in the blank)

You see, in Grandpa's eyes, I was not just cutting out a food group; I was cutting out “food”; I was cutting off my umbilical cord to Umbria. Or more appropriately, I was cutting off my abruzzical cord to Abruzzi. And he was proud of Abruzzi. He used to call himself “the FBI”-- "Full -Blooded- Italian." As a result, his grandkids are all a quarter-- “FBI” only by way of the dinner-plate. Except me--at the time. So to bridge this gap I had created, Grandpa and I began a weekly lunch date out on the back patio. He would pick the wine and supply his famous fresh baked bread; and I would prepare us a vegetarian meal. To my surprise, he ate heartily-- as if my “faux-food” (like meat) played some vital part in him--the way meat once played a vital part in me. Even though he'd be hungry an hour later, craving that ever-missing ingredient, we were connected again. During these meals, without conversation, he told me I was still Italian. Food had estranged me, and food had redeemed me.
Or maybe it was the bread and the wine.
Maybe I had never been estranged at all.

When I heard Grandpa was sick, I felt a fear somewhere deep in Abruzzi. A fear of being estranged. This deep sea diver is invincible--and essential. He is the bridge. He has always been. My life consists of him. What if there isn’t time for more . . . HIM? But my brother, Michael reassured me there was time: Italian blood is not easily subdued. It is strong like dry Chianti--or like a hunk of hard salami. And when I came back this August to live with him again, there was time --if only enough to get to know “the FBI” even better than before --and again without words. As I shared the privilege of now feeding him, I was privy to the details of how he savored his food. Eyes: closed, brow: focused, jaw: active and ready, throat: emitting jugular sighs of hearty satisfaction (a familiar sound from my childhood that always made me think Grandpa’s food tasted better than mine). Bacon, corned beef hash, sausage, Mortadella, clam chowder, sardines, lox, and bread; these meats--yes, I am now counting bread as a meat-- made up the man who fed us all. He is in our flesh and blood. His bread is the meat of omnivores and vegetarians alike. Through Grandpa Tony, we are all immortally part of “the FBI” and we make him immortal.

As Shakespeare summed up another sonnet, and this is unadulterated:

“The worth of that is that which it contains,
And that is this, and this with thee remains”

Join Us

February 14, 1924-October 27, 2010

Please join us to celebrate the life of
Anthony George DiBrogrozcio

Thursday, December 2, 2010
10 am with reception to follow at 11.30
Mililani Mauka Chapel
Directions

Grandpa loved this song. He would always call Uncle Tom at the oldies station and request this, and Uncle Tom would always play it. It captures his spirit--from just one of many luminous angles.

You win, Grandpa! Love wins.

Mangia!

October 1, 2010

Cousins Susan and Janice from California and Boston (last time they were here together was 43 years ago! And Susan & Richard here on their honeymoon 40 years ago--check out the photo!)

This time they prepared an Italian feast huge enough to feed all of us here--and the entire cast of Jersey Shore. Penne with marinara and meatballs, sausage, antipasto with mortadella, salami, prosciutto, provalone, mozzarella, peppers, olives, and tomatoes, bruschetta, cabernet, merlot, and chocolate cake with espresso for dessert. Maron!

Grandpa with an assortment--including wine! (Tony Manzo's advice)

Jane and Gary
Susan and Janice
Jennifer and Michael and Peggy
were assigned the task of
giving the feast "The Tony Danza" . . .

We showed it "Who's the Boss"

Grazie, cousins. We love you.

Visitors Galore!

Jeff and Lloyd Webb, Meat Loaf Bearers! Grandpa never goes hungry with the MLB on his side . . .














Peggy, Papa T, & Kat! A warm, welcomed presence. We send you our love.










Susan and Janice reunited in Tony's house after their trip 43 years ago--when they were teenagers!







Susan reminisces, "Grandma and Grandpa took us to see Don Ho in a local club and I believe we saw the Society of Seven too. We had a picnic on the beach with the family and just had a grand time. During that visit we met Mrs. Webb and Mamo too." The view of Pearl Harbor from Palisades is the same, but the houses that block it are new... (see the next blog for details of their most recent visit)





And many thanks to Toni S for stopping by too. You're bouquet is beautiful, and Grandpa loves strawberry pie :)

On the Move, On the Make, On the Mend

Well, Gps is up and strolling. Perhaps he's got his strength back from his increased appetite. Perhaps it's inspired by you all visiting with your priceless encouragement. Perhaps it's the effects of radiation gradually fading. Perhaps it's all of this and more. Whatever the reasons, we are all happy to see him happy. Thank you all for every ounce of your love--in every form it takes.


He is eating at the table and feeding himself, devouring the generous food most recently bestowed upon him by the Webbs. (Thank you!) Tony has even got it into his routine to watch the telly again. You can imagine our surprise (and delight) when just weeks ago, he adamantly refused.


With this renewed movement and strength, comes renewed desire. And with that, comes more and more of the old familiar Tony quips, jokes, and gestures. Yes, he has even taken up flirting with the nurses. He is unapologetically blunt and painfully honest: tell tale good-signs. I've never been happier to have him brush off my hugs: "Why the hell are you smothering me?" Because I love you. "I know THAT!"

His cantankerous refusal of affection says he loves us too.

Paesanos

Wednesday Tony Manzo surprised Grandpa with a visit, bearing grapes, stories of Abruzzi, and memories of Paesano-antics back in their Hilton days. They enjoyed aged Provalone from Aruthur Avenue in the Bronx (thanks to Napa and Mikkel's special delivery from New York). They filled the house with robust Italian adages, which only they understood (but graciously translated): "Getting old's a bitch, isn't it?" was the approximation. Their friendship transcends age.






















As you may know, Tony baked loaves and focaccia for Tony Manzo's ristorante over twenty years ago--which this family always knew was our best kept secret. Not at Tony Manzo's. That's where Hawai'i had it's chance to taste what we grew up spoiled with eating. Friday, Grandpa supervised while I attempted to learn the art of his bread.

Trouble Maker

Don't let him fool you: that army hat doesn't belong to him. Notice the cheeky glimmer in his eye? I was cleaning out my closet and came across a souvenir I picked up in Ukraine. Grandpa immediately snatched it from my hands and put it on. He was very eager to take this photo and impersonate a Soviet soldier. He has also started flirting with some of the day nurses. This can only mean trouble. And, yes, he's waving at YOU.

UPDATES: In-home hospice care continues between 8am and 2pm and overnight. Good times to visit are on Tues/Thurs anytime or MWF after lunchtime (2pm-ish) BUT we welcome you to call and see about arranging a time that works for both Grandpa and you. He's eating vigorously again.

Aloha!

First Class Treatment

While Auntie Joan was here for two weeks, Gpa enjoyed a spa day: manicure, warm eye compresses, and a tri-weekly pedicure from Noly.



The pampering hasn't stopped there. It's no wonder Grandpa's appetite is back-- there has been a surge of food pouring in: Andrea, his distant cousin and long time friend stopped in for a visit with homemade chicken soup; Nani from the station came by to share a pasta lunch from their old favorite restaurant, Albero's; Mrs. Lee across the street and Auntie Judy next door leave fresh gifts from their garden on our doorstep weekly-- from avocados to bunches of fresh scallions and basil; and in addition to Mrs. Kono's delicious cooking--turkey with stuffing, somen salad, or pork belly, Uncle Earl supplies desserts and sweetmeats so regularly that Gpa has 5 course meals 3 times a day! it's first class service at the casa de Komo Mai, where as the name suggests, all are welcome (along with the food!).

Mahalo for all your love and gifts. The whole family appreciates your generosity. Grandpa loves you all--and not just because you know the way to his heart is through the plate . . .

Grandpa: Before He Was Grandpa

Grandpa and Grandma (c. 1949)




















Grandpa and his mom (c. 1945)















Grandpa with Grandma and Susan & Richard (at the Hilton on their Honeymoon in 1970!)

"Auntie and Uncle brought the Hawaiian Spirit into our lives and the lives of my boys. Chris and Andy don't think of him just as a Great Uncle but as a Grandpa too! We loved all our visits to Hawaii and all of Uncle's visits to the mainland. I am so greatful that he was able to attend the boys weddings, he was like a proud Grandpa, plus my girls Kristy and Nicole fell in love with him too." - Susan

Family, Family, and more Family!

Friends and Family--thank you for your patience with the blog posts. We will try to keep them more frequent, but we have been busy reorganizing.

UPDATE: Grandpa is now receiving in-home hospice services: Lisa, his day nurse, comes twice a week; Noly, his nurse-aide comes 3 times a week--AND coincidentally, Noly is good friend of Grandpa's old Hilton buddies. They always have something to reminisce.

Diane Webb, who was best friends with the DiBrogrozcio girls at Waipahu High School assisted Grandpa at night several times to give Peggy some much needed rest.

To help with Peggy's return to work, this week and last, we have started to bring in a night nurse, and Joan is back to help for the next two and a half weeks. Elisa was home training for a tournament and was able to spend time with Grandpa every day. Jane is here every day to help too. And Jennifer is back for the autumn, teaching night classes so she can spend time with Grandpa. The reunions never stop! Even Susan and Paula will be visiting soon.

To be frank, Tony's health is in decline, BUT he is as alert and saucy as ever, and will not hesitate to let you know when he's irritated. If he says $h*t, you better say, "what color?"

If you would like to come by for a visit please get in touch by calling the house and we can coordinate your schedule with Grandpa's.

Aloha, aloha, aloha...

Radiation Complete

UPDATES: All 10 radiation treatments done. That comes as a relief for everyone, especially Grandpa, as the process has made him extra weak. Hospice workers have checked in and will be making more frequent house calls.

In the last two weeks, Grandpa has been visited by so many friends. Mamo and Dennis came by, and so did Emi and Mrs. Korita. Thank you, all who take the time to show your love and friendship. Even though the visits tend to be short, please know, Grandpa is so happy to see you all --your efforts mean so much to him.

With Aloha...

Papa T, Kat, & Friends

Back Row: Kelly, Lily (Wil's wife), Wil, Peggy

Front Row: Kat, Papa-T, Chat Chat

On Thursday, July 15th, Kelly, Lily & Wil, and Kat came by for a short visit with Grandpa. As we know, Kat and Grandpa are notorious for their Buzz's dates. Now, what you may not know, is that Grandpa swears that Buzz's clam chowder is THE BEST clam chowder. That is a huge accolade coming from a man from Boston! So Kat, in honor of those dinners brought over chicken stir-fry and . . . clam chowder for lunch! Grandpa was a little tired that day, but making jokes. Now was he swearing? That's always a sign of happiness.

Thanks, Kelly, Wil & Lily. I know Thursday meant so much to Grandpa!
And thank you, Kat for arranging the visit and for the photos. . . for adding Thursday to the years of memories you've made as friends.

Personally, the driver's license shot will always be my favorite. I remember the day he showed it to me--he looked so mischievous and shocked that YOU, Kat broke "the rules". And that schoolboy joy is captured in his expression.

Grandpa's Interview

For those of you who didn't get a chance to see this local publication, enjoy! It does a great job celebrating grandpa's service and adventures (image courtesy of Kat--thank you Kat!)

Also it reminds us of one other life to celebrate, one grandpa loved so much,
one very special companion . . .

In Memory of Tai DiBrogrozcio
1996-2010

If you're wondering why this picture is so stiff, it's because the image is quite a feat: Tai could never sit still, especially if you looked at her, so she had to be held in place to take a photo . . .

Radiation Begins

UPDATES:

• Grandpa's radiation treatments began this past Wednesday (the 7th)--sooner than we had expected! Keep sending your thoughts his way as he adjusts to these 10 treatments. It will be difficult, but we are hopeful. Thank you so much Jane, Gary, Peggy, Joan, Daphne, and Anthony for all your help.
  

Also this week:

• Tuesday, Kat came by for a visit. Anthony made pizza, while Grandpa and Kat reminisced about their MANY dinner dates at Buzz's Steakhouse.
  
• Joannie left town Wednesday but will be back August 20th!
• Anthony, Daphne and Lorenzo will be here through July 13, and then they'll return to Italy.
  

Again, if you'd like to arrange a visit, just call the house first to see what days and times work best for Grandpa.

Please stay tuned for another update soon. And check back for photos. When I get them, I'll upload them.

Mahalo!

The Gang's All Here!

Happy Fourth of July Weekend, Friends. Thanks for checking in.

UPDATES:

Anthony, Daphne, and Lorenzo arrived from Italy to visit and help with setting up our at-home care routine. For two weeks, the DiBrogrozcio house has been feasting in true Italian fashion.

Joanie arrived from Portland again July 1 to spend Independence Day with Gps. His spirits are already up having all his kids back in Hawai'i!

Grandpa went into hospital last night for a blood transfusion. He's getting his strength up for radiation treatments which will begin the week after next.

For now, visits should be arranged by calling the house and chatting to Peggy, Anthony, Jane or Joan. Thank you all for caring, and we hope you have a wonderful holiday weekend with those you love, celebrating health, freedom, and this very moment.

LOVE

The Purpose of This Blog

WE LOVE TONY

This blog is dedicated to Anthony G. DiBrogrozcio (a.k.a. Tony Di, Papa T, Uncle Tony, A.G., Daddy, Gps, and Grandpa). It's also dedicated to you, the family and friends who know him by these many pet names.

If you're here now, you probably have heard the news that Grandpa has been diagnosed with lung cancer. You probably want to know more...and want to stay informed. Well, as of today, all we have to report is that Grandpa has a tumor in his right lung and will soon receive radiation treatment (Chemotherapy is not an option given his other health concerns).

Communicating can be tricky for many reasons: time differences, general trepidation, or the nature of distorted news through a grapevine. Moreover, Grandpa gets tired more easily these days, and his hearing's not the best, which brings us to THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG . . .

• your direct source of information, so that you aren't left wondering what's new or accurate
• a guide how to get in touch with Grandpa
• a way for Grandpa to reach out to you
• a way to learn more about the man we love
  
• a celebration of Tony's past and present moments

For those of you in Hawai'i who would like to visit Grandpa, we will also post the best way for you to arrange that. At the moment we are still trying to establish a new routine, and Grandpa's energy levels vary from day to day, but we should be able to advise you shortly.

Please stay tuned for more updates. You can become a follower of this blog to receive updates in your Google Reader, or just check in at your own pace. Leave comments, and we'll be sure Grandpa sees them. Send us your pictures with Tony, and we'll post them. The months to come are going to be full of change for us all, and we plan to include all the people Grandpa loves--YOU-- in this experience.

Aloha for now. Thanks for visiting.